Do the ends justify the means?

Old Mustard is like an old Timex,

"takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'

DRI @ CBGB

It does not get any more hardcore than this!

The RugBug will be with me eventually,

Old Stovepipe is having some serious issues with pain,

so more important let's be sending him thoughts and prayers,

juicy with Jesus jargon!

My anthem as a youth...a must listen!

(s)Pot helping me rep the blog.

If any of you would like to get a t-shirt with this design,

or a surprise , please shoot me an email and address.

Absoluetely gratis!

oh joy, another lost love song

what would life be without a good tear jerker

This old Harley may be parked in my garage soon,

thanks to one of my old high school homies.

More about this to come...

To finish this post off,

below is what I wrote up about the surgery,

or I guess more specifically,

about 1/2 before going under the knife...

08/08/2025

Attn: To whom it may concern

I started this journey of pain sometime around May of 2024 and today it is August 8th 2025 and apparently the pain will still be with me. Fortunately, after a surgery yesterday though, according to the surgeon, my fingers may not be numb. The 15 month journey has been an interesting one…numerous blood draws & UAs, several X-rays, 3 MRIs, a Rheumatologist, a nerve study, a chemical stress test, a heart cath and yesterday anterior cervical discectomy and fusion. The list of issues with the spine that may be contributing to the pain are numerous to say the least. The topic that I wish to address though, is the five minute monologue given by Dr. Boswell directed towards myself, in the presence of my wife, a pre-op RN and the anesthesiologist. The doctor was apparently upset and visibly so, that I had not quit smoking. As a result he made it quite clear that he would not be relieving any of the pain with the surgery today, but that I could expect the numbness in my fingers to subside. Because I had not quit smoking he was not going to be able to address any of my arthritis and therefore the pain would continue. He made this so clear that once the monologue was over he demanded that I repeat what he had said again, in front of these same people. The RN I think was in awe. I am in awe, myself, that I did not explode, but I think this was after being given something to “relax” by the RN. Interestingly enough, he then asked if I would like to pray with him, which I declined, as after his monologue, I am absolutely certain that Dr. Boswell and I Do Not pray to the same Deity. I need to rewind a little bit and go back to a pre-op appointment that I had with the doctor. Towards the end of this appointment we had a discussion about smoking. During this discussion he indicated there would be a 20% greater chance of the success of this surgery if I were to quit smoking cigarettes. I agreed that I would “try” to quit because I was definitely tired of the pain. I did try very hard during that period to quit smoking, including getting a prescription of Chantix from my Psychiatrist who I see for TRD (treatment resistant depression). I faithfully took this medication up until the day of the surgery, but was unable to quit smoking. I don’t know if the doctor has had to quit smoking before but for many people this is a very difficult undertaking. My understanding is that quitting smoking is one of the hardest chemical dependencies to get past. I cared for my Mother who died at the age of 68 from smoking (small cell carcinoma), which by the way, was not enough impetus for me to quit smoking at that time. I know a similar journey quite well as it took me almost 5 years after admitting that I had a problem, to stop using alcohol. During those 5 years I was arrested several times for being drunk in public, a DUI accident, numerous detox and rehab stays, a divorce and joblessness and homelessness. After almost 20 years of alcohol sobriety I know that I am one sip away from being an active drinker again. Anyway, during this conversation about quitting smoking he never indicated that it was a condition of him doing the entire procedure, as was now the case. I am very disappointed by the outcome. While I respect the doctor very much for his highly acclaimed talent as a surgeon, his bedside manner needs a substantial amount of improvement, especially in those moments just prior to surgery. He was also dishonest, as I said, he did not indicate that I would have a partial surgery as a result of not quitting smoking during the pre-op. To add insult to injury, after insurance, this partial surgery will still cost me in excess of $2000. I am grateful to the doctor though, that the issue with my neck has been resolved. 

I wrote this to help me feel better about the situation and am sending it to you so that someone understands where I am coming from in case we have any future interactions. I have to tell you, I have lived a very hard life, one that is the result of many poor decisions. I have had to do a lot of reconciling in 56 years. I do wish I had been able to quit smoking for the procedure, and ironically my last cigarette was the evening before the surgery…hahah.