Thursday, August 14, 2025

Do the ends justify the means?



Old Mustard is like an old Timex,
"takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'


DRI @ CBGB
It does not get any more hardcore than this!


The RugBug will be with me eventually,
Old Stovepipe is having some serious issues with pain,
so more important let's be sending him thoughts and prayers,
juicy with Jesus jargon!


My anthem as a youth...a must listen!


(s)Pot helping me rep the blog.
If any of you would like to get a t-shirt with this design,
or a surprise , please shoot me an email and address.
Absoluetely gratis!


oh joy, another lost love song
what would life be without a good tear jerker


This old Harley may be parked in my garage soon,
thanks to one of my old high school homies.
More about this to come...
To finish this post off,
below is what I wrote up about the surgery,
or I guess more specifically,
about 1/2 before going under the knife...

08/08/2025

Attn: To whom it may concern

I started this journey of pain sometime around May of 2024 and today it is August 8th 2025 and apparently the pain will still be with me. Fortunately, after a surgery yesterday though, according to the surgeon, my fingers may not be numb. The 15 month journey has been an interesting one…numerous blood draws & UAs, several X-rays, 3 MRIs, a Rheumatologist, a nerve study, a chemical stress test, a heart cath and yesterday anterior cervical discectomy and fusion. The list of issues with the spine that may be contributing to the pain are numerous to say the least. The topic that I wish to address though, is the five minute monologue given by Dr. Boswell directed towards myself, in the presence of my wife, a pre-op RN and the anesthesiologist. The doctor was apparently upset and visibly so, that I had not quit smoking. As a result he made it quite clear that he would not be relieving any of the pain with the surgery today, but that I could expect the numbness in my fingers to subside. Because I had not quit smoking he was not going to be able to address any of my arthritis and therefore the pain would continue. He made this so clear that once the monologue was over he demanded that I repeat what he had said again, in front of these same people. The RN I think was in awe. I am in awe, myself, that I did not explode, but I think this was after being given something to “relax” by the RN. Interestingly enough, he then asked if I would like to pray with him, which I declined, as after his monologue, I am absolutely certain that Dr. Boswell and I Do Not pray to the same Deity. I need to rewind a little bit and go back to a pre-op appointment that I had with the doctor. Towards the end of this appointment we had a discussion about smoking. During this discussion he indicated there would be a 20% greater chance of the success of this surgery if I were to quit smoking cigarettes. I agreed that I would “try” to quit because I was definitely tired of the pain. I did try very hard during that period to quit smoking, including getting a prescription of Chantix from my Psychiatrist who I see for TRD (treatment resistant depression). I faithfully took this medication up until the day of the surgery, but was unable to quit smoking. I don’t know if the doctor has had to quit smoking before but for many people this is a very difficult undertaking. My understanding is that quitting smoking is one of the hardest chemical dependencies to get past. I cared for my Mother who died at the age of 68 from smoking (small cell carcinoma), which by the way, was not enough impetus for me to quit smoking at that time. I know a similar journey quite well as it took me almost 5 years after admitting that I had a problem, to stop using alcohol. During those 5 years I was arrested several times for being drunk in public, a DUI accident, numerous detox and rehab stays, a divorce and joblessness and homelessness. After almost 20 years of alcohol sobriety I know that I am one sip away from being an active drinker again. Anyway, during this conversation about quitting smoking he never indicated that it was a condition of him doing the entire procedure, as was now the case. I am very disappointed by the outcome. While I respect the doctor very much for his highly acclaimed talent as a surgeon, his bedside manner needs a substantial amount of improvement, especially in those moments just prior to surgery. He was also dishonest, as I said, he did not indicate that I would have a partial surgery as a result of not quitting smoking during the pre-op. To add insult to injury, after insurance, this partial surgery will still cost me in excess of $2000. I am grateful to the doctor though, that the issue with my neck has been resolved. 

I wrote this to help me feel better about the situation and am sending it to you so that someone understands where I am coming from in case we have any future interactions. I have to tell you, I have lived a very hard life, one that is the result of many poor decisions. I have had to do a lot of reconciling in 56 years. I do wish I had been able to quit smoking for the procedure, and ironically my last cigarette was the evening before the surgery…hahah.







Monday, August 11, 2025

Shitty mix Tape 1986

 I've recently been going through my old crates of endless cassettes that I've had since the 1980s until present. I am the son of Hoarders from the depression// baby boomer era, and I've held on to every single fucking tape I've had since about 1983. Now that I'm 55, I can't help but start my death cleaning and start throwing this shit away. As I know my kids and grandkids are not going to have any interest in listening to my old shitty classic rock cassettes taped off of kfmi radio. Back in my day, we took a long time to learn about punk rock. I lived in Crescent City, California, which is kind of like Alaska, the furthest Northwest corner of California on the coast, gray and rainy and depressed and full of Hicks that were angry and it was not a very pleasant place at all. Oftentimes friends would move up from places like San Francisco, San Jose, Los Angeles, Gilroy, or Santa Cruz, and they would inevitably bring music with them that us Hicks in a small town had not heard yet. I had a short-term friend named Pat in 1986 and he brought this tape that had rolling Stones, minor threat, and Beatles White album on it?? What a weird fucking combo. It also had kinks you really got me and all day and all of the night. I like that this kid, who had a bad chin, bad teeth and smoked cigarettes, had rather alienated and masculine taste in music. But most of all, it was important that I heard minor threat for the first time from this tape, I drew the cover for this tape, like a lot of kids did in the '80s. I had no real idea what punk rock, or DC hardcore versus LA hardcore, was. This is my first introduction though, to something that was beyond the mainstream, angry, relevant and true.


end post.

New (nope) & Improved (perhaps)

 

Top of the morning to ya!
Sent out some invites to view this blog now that it is not public.
If you are reading, book mark me please,
Come back and see what Mostaza is up to, or not hahah.
I started music bloging back when it was cool to do so,
with good old Mustard Relics,which lasted from 11/07 - 02/22.
A guy named Fernando from Spain was one of the regulars
and he called it the Mustard Relics Cafe.
That image of listening to and discussing music, with pals, 
over an espresso, was so appealing to me :-)
In fact, I think that is my ideal vision of retirement...
Having a little coffee shop in the middle or nowhere
where there's always music spinning on a turntable
and visiting with friends.
It may never happen buy I certainly enjoy the thought.
Anyway if you want to know what old Mostaza is up to,
here it is, peace to all y'all!


It seems like The Pack A.D. has been spining a lot lately, that's A-Ok with me.
How the fuck does she get such a powerful sound out of that guitar?
I don't really, really care, I don't play an instrument,
but I am curious, it's like this massive shorebreak of garage-y-ness!


Dean Ween Wisdom!
via my pal Kristi,
one of very few friends
I have in Kansas.


Bandit being sweet
for the first time in a while.
She's very skidish like a feral cat,
but you would never ever catch her outside


Wallace County Kansas
fucking nowhere-land
more desolate than a desert
trippy ass place to drive thru.

Here are YTs algorhuthmic predictions for what I might put into a mix


Dudes a badass picker of the guitar


it's 1979 and you are listening to this bitchen' early incarnation of The Cure!


is Ian high as fuck?


"beautiful baby, feed my love all night"
haven't thouht that in a very long time.


"now I guess I'll have to tell 'em, that I got no cerebelum"


No!
"Indeed"
- Stevo (not the famous one, the Humboldt one who is dead)



Friday, August 8, 2025

A Plethora of Unpleasant Enlightenments


 w/ the King of Beers in High School


minimalist perfection
know nothing about these guys
except this vid/tune
and 8 comments, including this one...
"They were awesome before they moved to LA"
and 15 years ago they played the almighty KXLU!


Louisa Livingston,
the model on Black Sabbath's epic1st album.


He was living on borrowed time...what do they say
The only thing certain is death.
RIP DUDE!


I can remember going to restaraunts when I was a kid with my Moms,
we'd be waiting for out orders and she would say,
"watch, as soon as light this cigarette the food will come."

"I'm  not saying I'm old, but when I was in school,
We made ashtrays for our parents in art class." - unkown


Been spinning these two a lot lately.
What's there to say that I haven't already said about 'em?
Just found this tune...


Yeterday old mustard got some heavy meatl installed in him
:-)