California Inspires Me - Mark Mothersbaugh

Mark Mothersbaugh is GOD!!!

[video width="640" height="360" mp4="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/California-Inspires-Me-Mark-Mothersbaugh.mp4"][/video]

Carl - directed and designed by Márk Juhász

Well this is a first, got hit up to review an animated short (if you're a regular around here you know I love that shit) and I couldn't be more grateful, everything about this thing is just perfect.  Here is the email I got from the mastermind behind this project, "Hi, I am Márk Juhász, a recently graduated filmmaker/animator!  I am trying to make an online premiere for my animated sci-fi short, titled CARL: http://youtu.be/-Jj9Ra1Qr3U I would really appreciate it if you could feature it on your site. It won the Best International Student Film award at the Melbourne International Animation Festival 2014.  The plot of this Action/Romance short-film starts with the duel of Carl (Robot-Gladiator-Champion) and Space Jesus. Before the finishing blow could land, rescue comes in the form of a Techno-Angel, who turns out to be Carl’s long lost love. So he changes sides and goes head to head against Drill-Raptors, EggBeater-Scorpions and a mighty BBQ-Octopus.  The main driving force of the story is the strength of Love and the weakness of Hate. It also offers an opinion about religion and the robotic nature of today’s society, using references to Terminator, Spartacus, Transformers, Matrix, etc." I'm not a cinematography expert, but I feel like this thing has everything going for it. Check out that poster, how can you not be desperately curious about the flick? The short itself is nothing short of epic, squeezing a lot of story into less than 7 minutes. Really this thing could be developed into a full length feature. The animation is of the most superior quality, worthy of any of the big animation houses around these days, yet retains a unique surreal quality. So you've got story and quality art, why not throw in a perfect soundtrack. It suits the story note for note, but really could stand on it's own as a powerfully engaging composition. Character wise you have the statuesque Carl, who is impressive just to look at and backs it up with brutal action. The Techno-Angel is beautiful beyond compare, just as an angel should be, she's actually really hot in an animated character kind of way. Space Jesus has the presence of a deity in human form and you can feel nothing but compassion for him as he is beaten to a pulp. There's lots of little things too in this short that make it special, I love how in the dream sequence Carl puts his hand on his lady's perfect ass and I love how Carl is instantly transformed by the Techno-Angel in a bright white light. I couldn't find anything I didn't like about the film it's no wonder it has won awards and I'm sure Márk Juhász got an "A" on the project. Enough babbling, take time to check out some related links... robotcarl.tumblr juhaszmark.tumblr Youtube ...and then of course the marvelous short itself... [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Jj9Ra1Qr3U]

Animated Shorts #6

Wondrous and disgusting at the same time, like so much of human creation.  I remember when this was being built, took an awful long time to complete (and anybody who has had some windshield time knows how much road construction sucks).  Driving it is just a blur, but this photo really captures what an awesome achievement it is, although what it symbolizes to me is the overpopulation of the planet's worst enemy.  Having taken geology and earthquake classes I know about the deep underground subduction faults Angelenans have looming beneath them, I wonder how this thing would do with an 8.0??? Only the human race would put the world's largest swimming pool right the fuck next to the ocean.  If anything it should be in some landlocked place like Nevada, or better yet, my current home state of Kansas (where the world's tallest water slide is).  This place doesn't appeal to me at all, in fact people who find this appealing, are unappealing to me. Recently discovered the amazing stylings of Prince Far I. Can't believe I never ran across this guy, who like the almighty Fathead was shot dead at a young age. Was on utoob listening to a very old Reggae favorite of mine The Rastafarians ( a band you must really check out despite the obvious name...but there can only be one right?) and one of the suggestions off to the right there was this Prince Far I guy. There's several full albums represented, but I started off with one where he does Psalms and other bible verses, prayers, which as it turns out was his first LP and he did for the benefit of those in Jamaica who are illiterate.  Immediately, I was blown away by his deep gruff voice. A deeply religious guy, but he's a DJ too, so you get this really far out roots/dancehall mix. So was just kinda listening to various releases and ran across this one live set that was a trip, called Prince Far I With Suns Of Arqa - Musical Revue (released by the epoch ROIR cassette label). The backing band has this almost impromptu free form jazz with effects thing going on. One of his hits from that set... "Throw Away Your Gun" [audio mp3="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/03.SUNS-OF-ARQA-Throw-Away-Your-Guns.mp3"][/audio] The backing band, Suns Of Arqa or their label or somebody has a Bandcamp where you can listen/buy all the tunes from that live release.

Another joke via my Grandpa... THE AUSTRALIAN VIRGIN A very nice, innocent woman wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never had sex with another woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad. She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback and he has no experience with women. She is very happy with him, and she feels that they are perfect for each other.. So, they end up getting married. On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the evening. When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked. All the furniture from the room is piled in one corner. "What happened?" she asks. "I've never been with a woman" he says, "But if it's anything like a kangaroo, I'm gonna need all the room I can get

Not animated, but a short nonetheless, from the mind of Mr Klay... "Dead On Arrival"

[video width="640" height="360" mp4="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/DEAD-ON-ARRIVAL-Zombie-Short-Film.mp4"][/video] The very first Felix the Cat... "Feline Follies (1919)"

[video width="854" height="480" mp4="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Felix-The-Cat-Feline-Follies-1919-First-Felix-Film.mp4"][/video]

 

 

Animated Shorts #5

I call this, "don't hate me because I'm beautiful."  You know even in the throes of middle age, I still find falls and farts funny.

A while back, on the dreaded blog killing Facebook, a buddy of mine challenged me to name 50 bands I had seen live. It was interesting because I',ve seen 100s of bands but remembering 50 wasn't so easy for this old burn out. Here's some very varied ones off the top of my head... Sha Na Na, Rod Stewart, Joan Baez, Pete Seger (The Weavers), MDC, Operation Ivy, Bo Didley, Swa, DOA, Fugazi, No Means No, Return to Forever, Alan Holdsworth, Hank Williams Jr., Youth Brigade, English Dogs, Stanley Clarke, Slightly Stoopid, Kittie, Willie Nelson, Kansas, Yellowman, Siouxsie & The Banshees, Bad Religion, Bad Brains, Capitalist Casualties, Venom, Cypress Hill, Beastie Boys, Creedle, Slayer, Bl'ast, Kris Kristofferson, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Mr. Bungle, Primus, Meat Puppets, The Hitch, NOFX, Crimpshrine, Capitol Punishment, War, Skatalites, Dieselhed, Exodus, B B King, Dr Know, Final Conflict, Dead Kennedys, English Beat, Bo Diddly, Link Wray...

This was a pretty memorable show, even though the headliner was pretty weak in my opinion, too Exploited, GBH-ish.  Way back when I posted a band called A.R.R. (this post regurgitates most of what I mentioned in that one) who were one of the lesser known bands that I kinda dug, but for some reason they aren't mentioned on the flyer.  U.K. Subs killed it with their '77 style, but by the time they were done playing, the frontman Charlie Harper was completely covered in spit, gobbed (one of the most idiotic imported practices from England). This was the only time I saw Youth Brigade, a band I was very keen on at the time.  The Olympic Auditorium in LA was an extremely big place for punk/hardcore shows, holds 1000s, there were lots of shows there in the 80s.. Anyway, the show was packed, all the gangs were represented, various skinhead gangs, along with the Suicidals, L.A.D.S., FFF, BPO, et al and the whole show was non stop fighting. There were a few one on one fights that I saw but mostly it was ten beating or chasing one. I remember specifically, the only time the fighting stopped was when Youth Brigade played "Sink with California". Everybody was arm in arm all over the place, even in the pit (which had been massive all night). As soon as the song was over, the non-stop fights picked up where they left off.  This show had some particularly huge pit(s), I remember my 150 pound frame being tossed all over the place.  I also recollect that my good friend Davrick was there, sporting his yellow fisherman's hat, as he always did, along with his devil lock.  Some guy snatched his hat and, plain as day I can remember Davrick chasing that guy all over the place before he kicked his ass and got it back.  All in all, not a bad show, but I preferred the more intimate smaller shows, wit less fighting.  On a side note, when we got back to my bug to bail, my stereo had been stolen... Youth Brigade - Sink With California

[audio mp3="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/YOUTH-BRIGADE-SINK-WITH-CALIFORNIA.mp3"][/audio]

Another very memorable show from a few years earlier and the only time I would see these bands, in fact one of the few straight up metal shows I've gone to, but I fit in quite well as I had very long hair and was about as hesher as you can get.  The Hollywood Palladium was another hell of a place to see bands.  I was there with my friend Roy (Hamsterhead), we had known each other since we were five, his Mom had dropped our 15 year old asses off (as far as I know, these days Roy is a Buddhist monk...probably the only one ever to have seen Venom, Slayer and Exodus).  At this show the pit was huge, but it was much more violent, basically just one big fist fight in motion.  Lots of bloody, broken faces left that thing,  I did not venture in.  We parked ourselves on the two steps leading out of the dance floor, a good spot to enjoy the bands and be on the edge of the action in the pit.  At some point during the show, I get punched in the back of the head.  I turn around, like what the fuck and there's this like 30 year old dirt bag giving me this look like "you want some more".  At this point this big Mexican biker looking guy puts his hand on dudes shoulder and tells him to get lost.  Turns out my savior was the drummer for Saint Vitus, Armando Acosta.  Otherwise the show was a blast.  All three bands are very different from each other even though you could call them all metal and they tore shit up.  One of my favorite bands at the time was Venom and they were my favorite at this show, but I received an invaluable lesson in how to shred at the hands of Venom and Exodus.  Looking back, I don't think that my Mom would have let me go to that show if she had known what it was going to be like before hand. Venom - One Thousand Days In Sodom

[audio mp3="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Venom-One-Thousand-Days-In-Sodom.mp3"][/audio] Slayer - Kill Again

[audio mp3="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Slayer-Kill-Again.mp3"][/audio] Exodus - Bonded By Blood

[audio mp3="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Exodus-Bonded-By-Blood.mp3"][/audio]

I dig the storyboard type animation... "The Facts In The Case Of Mister Hollow"

[video width="480" height="360" mp4="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/The-Facts-in-the-Case-of-Mister-Hollow.mp4"][/video]

This one is freakishly trippy.. "Rubber Johnny"

[video width="600" height="360" mp4="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Rubber-Johnny.mp4"][/video]

Animated Shorts #4

Coffee, the elixir of life. I'm your typical recovering alcoholic, smoke like I may never be able to smoke again and drink coffee like I did my liquor, day and night, gallons at a time.  Not snooty about my coffee, but I can't stand the cheapest stuff that tastes like it was swept off the floor.  That's what they brew at work, tight budget and all, I choked it down for years, gotta have that java fix, even though it's straight from hell.  Our secretary (from the fair land of Costa Rica, where coffee is cherished), these days brews a "secret" pot of the good stuff that a few of us are blessed to thankfully enjoy. From another email sent by my Gramps, entitled "Breathalyzer (the written test)". I'm not sure if my Grandpa knows that I grew up to be the raging-est of alcoholics or that I managed to clean myself up almost 9 years ago.  Also not sure if there would be disappointed and then relief, probably best to just leave that alone.  One of a few things left that I have a hard time forgiving myself for, is my DUI, 13 years ago.  Must have drove drunk 1000 times, but what made this so "special" was there was an accident and my son was sitting next to me in his car seat.  Not my proudest moment by a long shot, in fact, along with 3 or 4 other events, something that should damn me to hell.   So there is inherent humor in the activities of a stumbling bumbling slurring drunk, but there's some thing tragic there too. Figured I needed to insert some music in this non-musical post...Epic female fronted in Spanish EBM/Industrial (did I mention it was epic?) by way of my electronic music prophet Rafael Prayers... Hocico - Without a God

Super high quality, sci-fi gore and brutality... "PostHuman"

[video width="640" height="360" mp4="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/PostHuman-sci-fi-action-animated-short-film-directed-by-Cole-Drumb.mp4"][/video] Short but "sweet"... "The Sad Tale of Bad Breath Joe"

[video width="640" height="360" mp4="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/The-Sad-Tale-Of-Bad-Breath-Joe-Disturbing-Animation.mp4"][/video]

this one's a trip, good action and I love claymation... "Ward 13" http://www.liveleak.com/ll_embed?f=5375f05d7ae4

Animated Shorts #3

It's okay to laugh at this wipeout even though the dude's in a wheelchair isn't it? Politicians have to be politically correct, but do you and I? This would be funny if he was riding a bike, right? Maybe it's not funny to laugh at these kinds of wipe outs at all.  My days of eating shit are over, just don't put myself in those situations anymore, but I certainly had my fair share of them over the years growing up.  Bikes, skateboards, motorcycles, tripping over myself drunk (that was a real common one for several years there).  I provide much laughter to onlookers.  Not really funny when it's happening, but usually good for a laugh afterward.  I bet the guy above had a pretty good laugh when all was said and done (provided he didn't break his back and get paralyzed). How 'bout this, okay to laugh? Your guess is as good as mine, hardcore WTF moment in a FTW kind of way.  I don't think he's stroking it, maybe playing a video game and then some kind of sensory overload seizure.  I hope that this is not his 5 minutes of fame, when this went viral, which I'm sure it did.  Instead I hope he invents something that changes the world or becomes a world renowned orator, gathers a huge following, and brings about a lasting and meaningful peace for humanity.  Of course, the way things work for most people though, is that this is it, this is the sum total of his existence. Not a gearhead or anything (I do wish that I had at least taken a semester of auto mechanics in high school), but always had dreams of having a tricked out Vdub. I've had two late model Bugs (my first car was a 74 super beetle), but they were both plain Jane stock affairs, all I did was put oil and gas in 'em. An old buddy of mine at The Rusty VW recently turned me onto a killer site where you can digitally customize VWs...check it out, Bus Selecta. Below is my dream creation... My Great Grandpa Hrabe and me on my first Kansas visit. I feature some of his Son's (my Grandpa) emails here and there, he never types messages, just forwards stuff on to me that he gets from various sources (Grandpa, who is multi talented, very skilled with his hands, did a stint as a gearhead, and put a 6 cylinder diesel into a Vega, thing could tow the Titanic). Here's the latest (some of these may be old, like my Grandpa)... 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just leave me the Hell alone. 2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any. 3. No one is listening until you fart. 4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. 5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of payments. 7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it. 11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree. 13. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. 14. Good judgment comes from bad experience ... and most of that comes from bad judgment. 15. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works. 17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 19. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 20. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass... then things just keep getting worse. Ran across this artist, Dan LuVisi, who, among other themes, re-imagines puppets and cartoon characters as villains. Dude is hyper-talented as you can see, Bert and Ernie as you've never seen them before. He's got a BLOG, Deviant Art PAGE, and of freaking course a facebook... BRUTAL Claymation shorts, from the twisted mind of Lee Hardcastle. I'm a little late to the game, these have over a million views on utoob, but maybe you're like me and always playing catch up...

"Chainsaw Maid"

[video width="640" height="360" mp4="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/CHAINSAW-MAID-with-a-sprinkle-of-Lux-Aeterna.mp4"][/video]

"Chainsaw Maid 2"

[video width="640" height="360" mp4="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Chainsaw-Maid-2-18-.mp4"][/video]

Animated Short #2

This is me, talking to you, my imaginary audience. I don't know why I let some things bother me, but you know, I've been through too much shit in this life to deal with assholes and idiots. It's like there's a fricken plague and the stuff's terribly contagious. Feel like I'm a magnet for these diseased souls and they mistake my kindness for weakness. I try not to let what others do or what their personalities are affect me, people need to work on their own behavior instead of worrying about what everyone else is doing, but it's getting thick down here in the trenches, there's no elbow room, no room to catch a breath of fresh air.  It's all just payback, for those occasions in my life when I was less than pleasant, a dick really. Years ago I became a minister of The Universal Life Church, one of those free internet things (I've done one wedding and one funeral).  The church has an interesting history though, worth checking out if you're so inclined, and their only theology is "to do that which is right."  Simple enough and in my mind deeply profound...and like so many things that make sense, difficult to practice.  I have to remember that, no matter what I'm confronted with, I can't let things push me off my path, so hard though, "to do that which is right."  To get Old Testament, and Hollywood (Tarantino was underground at the time) simultaneously, quoting Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) at the end of Pulp Fiction, "There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you." Now... I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, that meant your ass. You'd be dead right now. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. See, now I'm thinking: maybe it means you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here... he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. And I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd."  That's all a fellow can do right, is try?  Okay whining done, this is an age old problem that will never go away, so you just move on to the next set of life events....right?  Plus, guaranteed, there some mofos out there who have some real things to gripe about. I'm thinking circa 1989-90, me with arms crossed, like I had anyplace better to be, with Erio, the better half of the dual vocals in WD40 to my left. At this point in my life with self inflicted brain damage and natural deterioration, I do not recognize any other souls in this picture.

What Lemmy was up to the year I was born, '69 ...playing guitar, apparently... [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAC-TdBXW8E]

That tune... Sam Gopal - Sky Is Burning Another, a little less trippy and more heavy... Sam Gopal - The Dark Lord THE BEST 10 second hardcore punk guitar solo @ 0:59... Sick Pleasure - I Wanna Burn My Parents In response to that assertion, the drummer of the band directed me to the solo here @ 3:39...YEAH!!! Frank Zappa - Fifty-Fifty

A couple more animated shorts in the horror genre, the first pretty heavy, while the second is more silly... "Who's Hungry"

[video width="490" height="360" mp4="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Whos-Hungry-.mp4"][/video]

"Dji Death Fails"

[video width="640" height="360" mp4="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/CGI-Animated-Short-Film-HD-Dji-Death-Fails-by-Simpals.mp4"][/video]

Animated Shorts #1

The internet is my link to the outside world and you can find me almost randomly wandering that world frequently (especially when the wife is working the late shift...when she's home we watch movies). I enjoy my self imposed isolation and all the perks of country living, but I also enjoy living vicariously, on a never ending quest to entertain and educate myself. Plus the internet is how I keep in touch with my friends who themselves have landed all over the globe. Youtube has always been a source of enjoyment and learning, mostly listening to music, but so many other paths lead to that site. Lately it's all about watching animated shorts (Youtube is not one of the sites the administrator has blocked at work...Mustard Relics on the other hand, has been blocked). These animated shorts take me back to the college days, going to the Arcata Minor Theatre for their animation festivals. Even back then the shorts were perfect for me and, my need to be immediately and succinctly amused. From the gory to hilarious, the deep to fleeting, these festivals were guaranteed to please. Just by the nature of them being a collection of shorts, if one sucked (which was rare), it would be over quickly and on to the next. These days, by virtue of the internet and Youtube the supply is endless, although you didn't have to suffer through commercials (but a guy's got to make a buck). Anyway, here's two I recently ran across, that were particularly good (I'll see if I can remember to post some of my faves from time to time)... "Sebastian's Voodoo" [video width="640" height="360" mp4="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Sebastians-Voodoo.mp4"][/video] "Mighty Antlers" [video width="640" height="360" mp4="http://mustard-relics.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Mighty-Antlers-от-The-Animation-Workshop.mp4"][/video]