This cartoon sums me up pretty well. That's the thing about learning how to give a fuck again, you actually are capable of feeling bad about some of the shit you've done in your life. Might be easier not to give a shit. That's not really the problem though it's about not being able to let go of the past and guilt. The other day I was looking like the guy at the top, and you know I do that a lot because I digs me some muzak, but I went to sleep and after a night filled with very vivid dreams about my past, I woke up feeling like the guy on the bottom. That is not a passing feeling either, if you know what I mean. Lots of thinking, bad thinking, kind of reminds my of the metal part of detoxing, an anguish. A good reason to drunk or high. Naw I won't go down that road again, I'd rather put a bullet in my brain, but what's up with giving shit and how the hell do you dull that sense? I've studied Christianity for a long time, academically in college, but my curiosity goes back to my Cuban pseudo-Santa Ria, Catholic babysitter and going to a Lutheran elementary school. My beliefs now are very complicated and contain a variety of influences outside Christianity but the bottom line is, George motherfucking Lucas was right, there is THE FORCE. There's an interesting verse in the Christian New Testament,Mathew 8.22 (Luke 9.60)--But Jesus said to him, "Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead." Kind of a neat verse, because it is seemingly so harsh, when you consider the context of a guy wanting to go to his Dad's funeral. The usual theological interpretation or apology of that verse, outside of the historical contextual type of reading I may have done in my studies at Humboldt State could be found here or here or, this one is interesting, here. For my purpose here it has to do with leaving shit behind, as harsh as it may be and as emotionally attached as you might be, you have to walk away from the shit. No Christian would agree with me on that, but as I've said before, I am the only true Christian...hahaha.
My buddy Shawn turned me onto this kick ass band called Iowaska (the name comes from Ayahuasca). Some might call them crust, which is a bad word in some circles, I'm no expert on so-called genres. I might call them crust because of their appearances, I saw The Decline of Western Civilization part 3. It would be a mistake though to think that they don't go way beyond that. Kind of more reminiscent of the early 80's female fronted UK anarcho thing, with a heavy celtic vibe (and a little bit of Siouxsie thrown in). You can get their only record, some mp3s and a little history over at Alternative Tentacles. I went the shitty route and downloaded the album, which may bring me to buying it, but for now I thought I'd share some of my favorites, the first being the tune Shawn bombarded me with.
Another one of those records I bought because of the incredible cover art, not knowing anything about the band. That's how it used to be when you walked into a record store. You might be drawn to a certain record label, have heard about a band, or maybe you'd just pick up something by a band you had heard before. I was always drawn by a good record cover. Straight outta Oakland, circa 2002, you get Strung Up. What you get is post hardcore that sounds a lot like early 80's hardcore. That retro hardcore has a bad name with some of my friends, who might suggest that hardcore died in about 1986 with the advent of the yout crew thing. This is not youth crew at all. I have to admit, this thing did not capture me from beginning to end, but it had it's moments. The first tune with it's almost silly sounding title, a pretty played out topic, a preacher preaching to the choir you might say, is a DAMN good tune. The dueling vocals and crushing sound make it the hit on this one (one of my favorite bands to play, was WD40, where I shared the vocals with my buddy Erio). Like I said, you may not find every song that worth while, but at least give that first one a virtual spin.
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