Saint Vitus - Thirsty And Miserable

  I am not trying to preach or put anybody down but I have to get this story out of the way.  The first time I got drunk was with Gilbert B., Skylar S. and Darren G. when I was thirteen (smoking herb at 10 with Kevin A.) and man was I cool.  Gilbert used to steal baby food jars full of random liquor from his folks and we used to drink them in the alley on the way to Luther Burbank Junior High.  In high school it got a bit heavier.  Match, Deutsche (straightedge most of the time), Ivan, Enoch and I were drunk just about every weekend (and some weekdays), followed up by fresh donuts at midnight.  Match and Enoch could buy at some liquor stores, sometimes.  Anna H., Norm G., Derrik C. or Ivan's brother would buy for us.  We could also get cases of Stroh's from Finn P., whose dad worked for the company for to $2.  Beer bonging (funneling) became popular at some point and we were quite proud of that.  We rarely had to pimp.  In college it was taken to another level.  Everybody drank and did dope of some kind.  The list of people that I did that stuff with is endless.  It was nothing to get drunk, gettered, stoned and trip at the same time.  Once we were 21 in Arcata the row of 5 or 6 bars (especially the Alibi), plus Casa de Que Pasa, were the places to be.  Probably the best paying gigs we ever played were at Angelo's, when you add up the cost of all the beer we drank.  I don't think I ever played live with out being drunk and/or high.  But you know it was all good to be messed up all the time, because I was functional and so were many of my friends.  It may have been a problem at that point or maybe it always was but the real trouble didn't start until I moved to San Diego.  It was then that, when it was my turn to go up to the bar and buy the pitchers, that I would sneak in a shot or two each time.  People were always wondering why I was so fucked up.  It was about that time too that I would regularly do the hair of the dog with little airplane bottles (dollar bottles of bliss) in the mornings to get rid of the hangover and stop the shakes.  After I lost my job it was the end of the line.  I had a substancial savings and for the next two years I worked myself up to 3 fifths a day drinking from morning til night.  At this point I wasn't going out anymore except to shake my way to the liqour store when it openned at 9am.  They closed at eleven.  It was the most important thing in the world to know that.  I had some contact with people but in the truest sense I was absolutely alone.  I don't quite know how to describe that feeling.  I tried to quit cold turkey several times, but I won't get into the stinky, sweaty, shaky, ugly, scary nightmare that was for 5 or 6 days each time.  Nothing could stop me, the law, the hospitals, the rehabs, my friends or my family.  Death was all that was left in the bottle.  Then one day it just stopped.  After twenty something years, I was sick of dying and being a loser.  It's been over two years now and still every once in a while I wish I could drink like normal people.  Here's a great song by a great band covered by another great band. Saint Vitus-Thirsty And Miserable